Brain Captures

Whenever I go to the store,
I always find myself wandering:
wandering toward the deli section.

The people behind the counter likely wonder,
Wonder why I just stand there,
motionless,
seeing nothing
except for you.

The deli section reminds me of you.
The half-pound of roast beef I got for you.
The one you would stare at me, waiting for.
The one you ate for three days straight.
The one you got out of bed for.

But the deli section reminds me of you.
The half-pound of roast beef I got for you.
The one after we got the news.
The one three days before the appointment
The one that felt like giving a prisoner's last meal.

Except I'm not sure you knew it was your last meal.

Even as I write this,
Hardly able to see the screen through my tears,
Wiping them off the keyboard,
I don't know what I think.

All I can do is hope that I made everything worth it for you,
That I made you happy.
That even when I felt my world crashing down around me,
I spared you the pain.

So here I am---
standing in the deli section
with only the reminder of you
and that half-pound of roast beef.